Suicide discussion follows. Be forewarned. For someone who no longer has the impulse to commit suicide, I think about it quite a bit. It’s a feeling. I talked about feelings earlier this week. I know that my suicidal thoughts, and the attached feelings, are not invalid. I have no intention of acting upon them, so… Continue reading Feeling Like Dying
Tag: bipolar disorder
Vlog #2: "The Feels"
We’re going to talk about feelings! YOUR feelings. Are feelings valid? Can you feel more than one feeling at once? Do feelings have consequences? I answer all of these questions from my perspective. I hope you find it insightful, useful, or at least interesting. If you like what I’m doing with these, please feel free… Continue reading Vlog #2: "The Feels"
Poem: "It's 2015"
In addition to the vlog, on the 1st of every month, I’m recording the reading of a poem I’ve written. The first one, here, was written around the time of my last birthday. I don’t imagine to have great skill as a poet, as longer-form fiction has long been my writing focus, but I hope… Continue reading Poem: "It's 2015"
Vlog #1: "The Stigma"
[/tube] We all have to start somewhere. This is my first attempt at doing something like this, on a lot of levels. I can be a bit of a perfectionist, and there are a great deal of things I want to change, tweak, and improve upon the next time I slap one of these together.… Continue reading Vlog #1: "The Stigma"
The Road To Recovery
By myself. For myself. It’s a mantra I’ve adopted since things melted down for me last October. I’ve taken a step back from a variety of social situations and interests, even moreso in the light of more recent events. It’s been made clear to me that despite the appeal of living in the moment and… Continue reading The Road To Recovery
Ex-Enforcer
Despite living with it for over two decades, I know very little about grief. I know that it confuses me, makes me angry, aggravates my pain, and informs some of my worst decisions. Living with a fear of failure and loss that puts the sword of Damocles to shame has lent my personality an intensity… Continue reading Ex-Enforcer
Living In A Mixed State
So, for those of you who don’t know, I have bipolar disorder. The chemical makeup of my brain is such that receptors for both higher emotional states (described as “mania” or “hypomania”) and lower ones (your classic “depression”) are susceptible to inexplicable, unconscious, and sometimes sudden change. In the past, people have described the disorder… Continue reading Living In A Mixed State
I Am Not Okay
“Everything is terrible and nothing is not on fire.” I’m sure most of the people who read this know, but for those of you don’t, I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. This consists of cycling between two modes of thought and mood: depression and mania. In my case, as my disorder is less severe than… Continue reading I Am Not Okay
